Antiprotips 2

basmala

Picture1Protips are commonly presented by various experts and professionals in different fields to those interested in participating or are still in the beginner stages of said fields. They’re helpful tips and general advices given to correct the approach to different tasks so they’re done correctly and in some cases made easier to perform.  Sometimes they’re serious, other times they’re sarcastic.

Antiprotips are a sarcastic reverse form of protips. They reflect observations of how people behave and think in ways that are contrary to how they claim to do so. They also serve as satire to turn one’s attention to motives behind their actions and problematic notions within the paradigm they work within. They’re an attempt to de-dogmatize the dogmatic mind while at the same time trying not to fall into a different line of equally dogmatic thinking.

Antiprotips are my own personal sarcastic reflections for how one can think and work in the opposite direction to becoming a pro. I usually tweet them, but I thought I should group them together every once in a while for those who don’t follow me on Twitter:

  1. I’ll believe everything is random & all patterns are illusions, basing this in science which operates opposite to this belief. #antiprotip
  2. I’ll accept conclusions made by atheists that deal with worldviews without questioning the path to those conclusions. #antiprotip
  3. Even though my brain wasn’t fully developed as a child, I trusted its reasoning process to become an atheist. #antiprotip
  4. Even though the brain confabulates childhood memories, I’ll pretend that I know I determined that I was an atheist as a child. #antiprotip
  5. Even though I never actually examined the underlying premises of science & I’m not actually a scientist, I’ll be fanatic for it. #antiprotip
  6. All my knowledge about science has been spoon fed to me by a biased education system. But I’ll claim it’s all objective. #antiprotip
  7. My knowledge about scientific theories is based on Wikipedia & a couple of pop culture science books. Hence, it’s all accurate. #antiprotip
  8. I grew up in a Muslim home & never was taught why we were Muslim & never looked into it. So my atheism is truly objective. #antiprotip
  9. I’ve only been exposed a caricatured inaccurate version of one religion. Hence, it applies to all religions past & present. #antiprotip
  10. I’ll reject Islam based on writings of people who rejected Christianity. #antiprotip
  11. I never knew there are different types of evidence in science. So I’ll just pretend they’re all equivalent. #antiprotip
  12. I don’t know there are different types of causes. But I’ll keep pretending they’re all talking about the same thing. #antiprotip
  13. I can’t speak about the evidence for evolutionary theory with any authority. But I’ll keep crying about all the evidence it has. #antiprotip
  14. I never studied or did any science personally. But I know that anything scientists say must always be true. #antiprotip
  15. I’ll mock those who can rationally explain why they believe in God while I can’t rationally explain why I believe in scientists. #antiprotip
  16. I don’t understand theoretical physics myself. But when I accept physicists’ word on it I’ll pretend it’s not my faith in them. #antiprotip
  17. I’ll pretend my secular education in the West that’s built on denial of God has nothing to do with why I became an atheist. #antiprotip
  18. I’ll tell everyone that my atheism is a passive negation of God while actively evangelizing a positive assertion of it. #antiprotip
  19. I’ll reduce all the problems in the world to God and religion because I’m too simple- and single-minded. #antiprotip
  20. I don’t believe God exists. But I’ll talk about Him more than those who do. #antiprotip
  21. I’ll dedicate my life to spreading atheism, while at the same time talk about how annoying are those who preach all the time. #antiprotip
  22. I want women to be free from what I think is the oppression of other men. So I’ll make it legal for them to wear what I want. #antiprotip
  23. I don’t know how to engage in a rational argument with a believer. So I’ll resort to mockery to cover my intellectual bankruptcy #antiprotip
  24. Instead of focusing on the ethical teachings presented by Imam Al Ghazzali in his works, I’ll focus on his use of weak Hadiths. #antiprotip
  25. I won’t trust people that I’ve met who are scholars of Islam because I trust people I never met who post on internet forums. #antiprotip
  26. The ability to speak automatically means one should speak about everything. #antiprotip
  27. If I enjoy it, it’s not Islamic and therefore not permissible. #antiprotip
  28. There is no greater meaning to anything, including these words you’re reading. #antiprotip
  29. Nothing has a purpose, including the statement that nothing has a purpose. #antiprotip
  30. Patterns have no objective reality & are an illusion our brain tricks us to see, including those we replicated from nature. #antiprotip
  31. We consume all the Earth’s resources at the expense of the less fortunate. Hence, the solution is to control their population. #antiprotip
  32. We see brain activity when someone has a religious experience. Hence, it’s a delusion. #antiprotip
  33. The most objective people to speak on religion are those who don’t subscribe to it because they don’t have biases of their own. #antiprotip
  34. An education system where God is absent will not raise children who will have trouble acknowledging God’s presence. #antiprotip
  35. Prominent religious authorities who will turn absolute rulings into relative ones are obeying God by disobeying Him. #antiprotip
  36. Heaven is really vast…for me and my crew. As for everyone else I don’t approve of, they can go to Hell. #antiprotip
  37. People other than myself are too easily confused. Hence, they shouldn’t be exposed to differences in opinion in Islam. #antiprotip
  38. I must reinvent the wheel in fiqh because everyone before my enlightened generation was astray. #antiprotip
  39. Like Imams Abu Hanifah, Malik, Shafi’i, and Ibn Hanbal, I’m also a man. Hence, I can derive my own rulings. #antiprotip
  40. All the scholars of Islam abandoned the Quran & Sunnah blindly following their schools of law. I’m here to set things right. #antiprotip
  41. If you’re not a scholar possessing the criteria to assess different scholarly opinions, you can always go with your nafs! #antiprotip
  42. When the opportunity presents itself, turn branches of fiqh into core issues of Islam. #antiprotip
  43. Learning about the basis for differences in opinion will create further division and intolerance. #antiprotip
  44. The best place to raise your voice & argue about religious matters is in the mosque and in front of everyone. #antiprotip
  45. The ethical/moral implications don’t come into play when determining the permissibility of an action in Islam. #antiprotip
  46. I’ll take my ethics from those having none then justify my unethical conduct with a fatwa or two. #antiprotip
  47. It doesn’t matter that my actions can and do harm others, and here’s the fatwa to prove it. #antiprotip
  48. A fatwa is the definitive ruling of God, not the opinion of a scholar. #antiprotip
  49. I like these scholars. Therefore, their reasoning always trumps the scholars you cite. #antiprotip
  50. I’m not slandering this “scholar.” I’m only warning Muslims to watch out for this deviant. #antiprotip